How to make your resolutions stick (From Dudley News)

How to make your resolutions stick

7:00am Saturday 2nd January 2010

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Are you rubbish at sticking to your New Year's resolutions? Whatever they may be for 2010, experts give their view on how to make them last.

By Kate Hodal As the Noughties give way to the first double-digited decade of the century, millions of us will usher in 2010 with resolutions promising to make it a year to remember.

Whether it's finding love, losing a stone, quitting smoking or having more time to relax, New Year's resolutions have long been used as a way to kick-start some positive lifestyle changes.

Some 37 million Britons made resolutions in 2009, according to a survey earlier this year, but 2010 could see that number increase - not least because the stakes are seemingly higher, says life coach Sue Belton [www.suebelton.com].

"It's not just a new year, but a whole new decade we're ushering in," she explains.

"Now's really the time to clarify what you want and where you'd like to be in another 10 years' time - because what you want in 10 years is a lot bigger than what you want in just one year's time."

That might seem a bit of a stressful call to arms, but it could also be an inspiration to finally kick that habit or make that change.

Just bear in mind that making - and keeping - your resolutions requires a bit of finesse, as well as the determination to stick to a few simple, but effective, rules.

Be realistic When making your New Year's resolutions, try to identify what you can and can't change - then work within those parameters, says life coach and cognitive hypnotherapist Sue Roberts [www.freedomfinders.co.uk].

"If you have a lot to change in your life, divide it all into 'must', 'nice to have' and 'if I get time' segments, and then plan your resolutions throughout the year.

"You can then prioritise like you would any other to-do list, or you can stick to two or three really key things that you think will make the biggest difference."

The problem in trying to do too much, says Paul Farmer, chief executive of the mental health charity Mind, is that it could hurt you in the long term.

"By setting yourself over-ambitious New Year's resolutions, you're potentially setting yourself up to 'fail' - and this can have a real impact on your self esteem," he explains.

Remember that whatever resolutions you set, you must be realistic about what fulfilling them might achieve.

"Giving up chocolate or smoking isn't going to change the fact that you're in a bad job or a bad marriage," says Roberts.

"So try to identify the cause - not the symptom - of what you think needs to change."

Consider your timing The new year might technically begin on January 1, but that doesn't mean that your resolutions have to: Just ask yourself if a cold, snowy morning in January is really the best time to start your get-fit regime.

"The hype says 'a new year, a new you', but decide for yourself which month you usually feel good in, and which month you can imagine making the change easily," says Roberts.

Belton agrees: "Spring might be a much more effective time for you to make and stick to a 'New Year's' resolution, because you can feel things changing in the air. Then you also have the summer ahead to look forward to."

Visualise Visualising what you want is said to make it more likely to occur - so jot some ideas on a notepad, or start daydreaming about how your future could be.

"Let's say you want to stop smoking," says Belton. "Sit yourself down and really imagine how it would be if you weren't smoking.

"What would your clothes smell like? How would your skin look? How much money would you have saved in three months' time - and what could you buy with that as a reward for not smoking any more? How would you walk and comport yourself?"

By embedding those sentiments and feelings within yourself, says Belton, the more likely they are to become part of your reality.

Focus on the positive Around 25% of all resolutions fail within a month, research has found, because "they focus on giving something up rather than on what you'll gain instead", says Roberts.

They key to success, she says, is in framing your goal positively.

"If you want to lose weight, word your goal to be 'increasing your health' or 'gaining a new image', not 'I will stop eating chocolate'.

"If you hear yourself saying 'I should' or 'ought to', work out if you really want the change or just think that others will perceive it's the right thing to do. Choose what change is right for you, and you'll have much more chance of success."

Another key trick is to ignore the 'voice of the saboteur' - the niggling interior monologue which wants you to fail, says Belton.

"I always ask my clients what that voice says, and who the voice is: It's usually a parent or teacher from the past.

"Give that voice a name and figure out what he or she likes doing in their spare time. If she likes knitting, then send her off knitting whenever she feels like telling you that you're going about things the wrong way. You'll find that you you can then get on with your resolution more easily."

But remember that saboteurs don't always come from within.

"Some people like it that you overeat or smoke and can be our greatest enemies when it comes to making a change," adds Belton.

"So be aware of any negative sentiment from friends or family, and rise above it."

Forgive yourself Old habits are always hard to break, so try not to beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon.

"If your resolution is to eat more healthily, just because you don't eat your five fruit and veg on day one doesn't mean that you can't eat them on day two," says Roberts.

"Learn from your 'failure' instead. Perhaps five-a-day is too much all at once, so try eating three-a-day and working up from there."

Get help if you need it Learning new habits can be like learning a whole new language, so remember that you can make it easy for yourself and ask for help.

"Get any help you can," says Belton. "People too often try to be brave and fall down without getting the help they need."

Help can come privately or even from the NHS: Those looking to quit smoking can try out smokefree.nhs.uk, for example, while those hoping to cut back on their alcohol intake can get tips and ideas from www.drinkaware.co.uk Reward yourself Making any positive change to your behaviour deserves to be both acknowledged and rewarded, say both Belton and Roberts - as you'll then encourage yourself to continue on in your good behaviour.

"But if you're losing weight, don't make that reward food. Or if you've stopped smoking, don't make the reward booze," advises Roberts.

"You don't want to replace one bad thing with another. But you do want to commend yourself for a job well done, and make yourself happy as a treat."

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