The Villa manager nightmare - look what you could have won

First hating the manager, then trying to get rid of him, then waving him goodbye is one of the big joys of being a Villa fan.

We are now in that magical period of looking for a manager, where anything is possible, where we could end up with an attacking genius who could lead us to victory in the Race for Seventh, or Steve McLaren.

Now McLeish has gone us Villa fans are bit like the ragbag coalition of Libyans who deposed Gadaffi.

We got rid of the common enemy and are now looking at each other thinking: “Really, you want Simon Grayson to get the job?”

When we are searching for a manager all the loonies come out to play, tweeting and facebooking ‘We’ve got no ambition we should be trying to lure Pep Guardiola out of retirement’ or ‘Terry Venables has been out of work for a while’.

And then there are the doommongers, who can’t even have a few weeks of excitement and have to carp on about: “There’s no money, no-one wants to be Villa manager, Lerner's asset-stripping the club and the Holte End has got subsidence.”

But the sad fact is that we destroy managers, very rarely, well Graham Taylor only, they make a step up to a higher level after leaving us.

No-one headhunts a Villa manager, the rest of football just looks on and thinks 'they suit each other just fine'.

We are a managers’ graveyard, look at media darlings David ‘Good Bunch of Lads’ O’Leary and John ‘Stretford’s Mate’ Gregory, between them I think they’ve managed four games in the Mongolian league since leaving the Villa.

Is it any wonder that Ole Gunnar Solskjaer had second thoughts about the job. I think he would have been, or still could be, great for the Villa.

Hopefully, the ‘will he won’t he’ farce will be like Big Ron’s change of Sheffield Wednesday heart, if not then the Baby Faced Assassin has managed to piss everyone off and gained nothing but a ride in a nice plane.

I don’t buy the ‘can’t move my kiddies’ argument it is not like he is as stupid as David Unsworth who signed for the Villa, stood at the back of the official photo and then drove home not realising driving up M6 took so long and then asked to leave the day because he hadn't paid attention in geography. I would like a bit of foreign influence down the Villa, our next appointment needs to be imaginative because if we play safe we will be bored out of our brains in the third division of the Premier League.

I want a manager who is driven and who will bust a gut to make the club great again, not someone like Benitez who has peaked and when facing Doncaster in the first round of the Carling Chrome or Zest Cup is reminiscing about Champions League campaigns with previous teams.

Gunnar got the as fans excited as a skint landlord when Barry Bannan opens a tab on a Tuesday night, everyone I spoke to said they would support him.

Of course there were a few who said: “He’s got too much Man Utd baggage” or “he’d leave if Man Utd came in for him.”

Two points of view which are absolutely barmy, these type of people are the kind to bump into Beyonce after Jay Z dumps her and refuse a rebound roll around because “she still loves her ex, innit.”

Man Utd would only come calling if he was successful down the Villa. So how can that be bad for us?

The trouble is the longer it takes to appoint a manager the worse the appointment will be.

For the fans it becomes the football equivalent of Bullseye’s “Look what you could have won” taunt as beautiful possibilities are dangled in front of us only for them to slip away to be replaced by some dour Scotch bloke.

Well I want the bloody speedboat Solsjkaer and don’t want to end up with the Betamax Ian Holloway toploader as my prize. So come on Paul Faulkner stop playing the Simms on your Nintendo and pull your finger out.

We need a manager!

And soon.

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